This is in fact a birth story. However, I want to share it not so much to talk about the process of birth -- so don't stop reading now because of any ick factor -- but because this is what I consider to be the defining moment of my life so far. It is the one time in my life when I saw my desperate prayers answered clearly and quickly. It was a time when I made a monumental decision that truly fulfilled the person I had been imagining I wanted to be. Before I was pregnant all I knew is that I wanted to have a natural birth without any drugs. My reasoning? This is what the female human body was built to go through. Plus, billions of women have done it before me, why couldn't I? So I found a midwife at a local hospital where I could have a water birth in a beautiful birthing suite. I assumed having a baby -- especially my first -- anywhere other than a hospital was crazy and something I knew my husband would never feel comfortable with and I really don't think I did either. Week 32 rolled around and my midwife could see that our baby, Braxton, was breech. However, she wasn't worried. Instead she charged me with homework. From Weeks 32 to 39 I went to the chiropractor twice a week to have the Webster Technique performed to try to turn Braxton. Opting out of a risky version, every night I lay upside down while watching TV with my husband, I played music by my pubic bone to get Baby to turn towards it, I put ice packs on the upper part of my stomach where his head was to turn him away from it... No luck. Every day Braxton reassured me he was still playing "heads up {seven up}" with little bobs against my rib cage. I had a fairly easy pregnancy which I credit to the physicality of my job, my history of athletics, and my attention to nutrition. The biggest difference in my diet from many pregnant woman I have talked with is that I ate plenty of grass-fed beef and butter, avocado, eggs, olives and other similar fats (for more information on proper nutrition before and during pregnancy I recommend reading The Better Baby Book: How to Have a Healthier, Smarter, Happier Baby by Lana Asprey and Primal Moms Look Good Naked: A Mother's Guide to Achieving Beauty through Excellent Health by Peggy Emch). I am also a runner and I felt great running up to about the eighth month of my pregnancy. I even ran a half marathon at seven months pregnant and loved it! At Week 38 my midwife tells me that I would be going from what I was envisioning as an all-natural water birth in a birthing suite to a cesarean section in an operating room. I would not only be required to have anaesthesia, but also to be cut open in this all-too-common surgical procedure. I was stunned. She insisted this was the only way. I prayed sincerely that if this was the birth story I was meant to have that I could find peace with this outcome. But over the next few days I felt the intense urge to educate myself on vaginal breech births and what my options were. I learned that the midwife told me this was the only option because the doctors would not deliver a breech baby vaginally. The politics of the hospital system wouldn't allow it because of the extra time and hands-off monitoring typically taken to deliver a breech baby. The education of doctors today does not cover many natural vaginal births, let alone breech vaginal births. Because I could not find any birthing centers in my immediate area my only option became home birth. I honestly couldn't believe I was seriously thinking about it. The more I read the more I felt strongly compelled to bring up home birth to my husband, Brian. But, that was crazy. I was nervous to dare talk about it with him a mere one and a half weeks before I would be full term. Insane. But, I felt helplessly stuck with the thought of allowing a c-section to happen when I was healthy, my baby was healthy, I was made to go through this natural process. Even more importantly I was in the mental space to achieve such a feat. What I discovered was that I either had to find a doctor who was willing to deliver breech -- doubtful, especially at the last minute and highly likely he would insist on intervening anyway -- or change our plan of delivering in a hospital and find a home birth midwife who was available... at a moment's notice! At 38 1/2 weeks, my husband and I watched The Business of Being Born, he listened to my views, but wholeheartedly disagreed. But with nothing to lose, I pressed on, reaching out to friends who advocate the natural birth process and contacted a few home birth midwives through them. They were all very nice and told me the same things I had read, but of course how could I expect any of them to volunteer to deliver my breech baby at the last minute without even knowing me! Miraculously, at my last chiropractor appointment at Week 39, my doctor recommended talking to a home birth midwife she had met just a few days prior. We chatted on the phone about my situation and about her experience. The next day my husband and I met with her in person. I felt confident after meeting her. But, that night I seemed to float above my body and as I watched my husband say the dreaded words, "we should just go do the c-section in the hospital." I felt completely demoralized. Still, I knew I needed my husband to be a part of our decision so that he would be completely comfortable. I knew I would default to what he felt was right. That night I prayed anyway for my hopeless situation. The next day Brian called me from work and said, "you need to call the midwife and get all the plans situated for a home birth." What?! I couldn't believe my ears. I was ecstatic, relieved and sprang into action. The next day I went into labor. For me, I never had to convince myself to go without drugs because I never wanted an epidural in the first place. I read and envisioned the different ways the birth could go. But not once did I see my body failing me in any of these circumstances. This mental game, along with my faith, is what I feel were key components of such a successful delivery. My co-workers said my birth story was "legendary." I disagree. Unfortunately, it has been engrained in us that we need medical interventions for processes that our capable bodies were created for with great genius. I look back without a single regret. This is not because my labor was short and easy or because home birth is the correct and only way to go. It is not because I was knowledgeable about the process of birth beforehand (I knew absolutely nothing, besides a few horror-ish stories). I grew up with the "truth" that c-sections were "normal" and hospital birth was superior -- the only way to go. I had to re-educate myself at crunch time. Don't let society tell you it can't be done or it's too late. Question what you already believe to be true. Is it true to you only because you have heard it from so many people for so long? Whatever it is you are struggling with physically or mentally, it is never too late to change your approach to it. What physical or mental obstacle in your life feels too hopeless or too late to change? Resources I Found Helpful // Navigating Natural Birth Options
You can find the other books I mentioned above here.
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Hi. I'm Suzanna.I like running outside, eating real food and crafting beautiful images. I am captivated by documenting everyday life–revealing what authentic, adventurous and lovers of life we all are. Life is full.Sign up for my newsletter, PRISM, for creative inspiration to remember the details that count. Thank you!Look for a new PRISM in your inbox very soon. |